From Tim's website
Classified Adverts
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.